Awwooooooooga.

I found one of the most bizarre Internet cult thingy recently through our wonderful drummer Nick. All Nick had done was to fill his MSN Messenger quote with a phrase from a short story about Kriss Akabusi....

'He whispered Awooga into her ear, and patted her on the fanny.'

Intrigued, although a little confused it was enough to crack me up for about three minutes.

It turns out someone on the football365 forums had been posting up fictional, lurid pseudo-porn-mag, sex stories that involved the sexual deviance of former British athletic champion, children's television presenter and now motivational speaker Kris Akabusi(since taken down I may add). Akabusi's catchphrase as some of you may remember, was to belt out the non-word 'Awooga!' in times of jubilation. The stories posted were farcical and ridiculous tales of Akabusi's sexual escapades, littered with hideous sexual metaphors and which always finished with the above quote. The Kult of Awooga had begun.

After joining an Akabusi Appriciation Facebook group which Nick had invited to me, I stumbled upon another hilarious website, which had some Akabusi related banter. I surfed some of the links on the site which seem to deal with subvertisments, culture jamming and parody based humour and then noticed it was run by a member of Shitdisco. Upon finding this out I had no choice but to scream 'Awooga!' But I stopped short of patting Darren Shitdisco on the fanny.

Disclaimer for James's concience: These stories are of course made-up, and Kriss Akabusi is most likely a lovely, decent bloke. When searching for an image I found a fair few pictures of him posing with disabled kids, which seemed to reaffirm this and make me feel pretty guilty about this post. But the stories are just too funny not to share.